Emotional Intelligence…Why Does It Matter?

Emotional Intelligence…Why Does It Matter?

Team of workers planning a project.

Emotional Intelligence vs. IQWhy they Both Matter!

The Success or Failure Quotient.

Imagine that it is late at night. You and a small team of associates are in the midst of a project. You are tired and hungry and the deadline is tomorrow at 8 a.m. A member of your team says, “This isn’t going to work!”, and you feel the blood rising to your face. Angry words spew out of your mouth, and you are in the midst of a full-fledged, time-wasting argument. Where is your Emotional Intelligence?

Do your emotions control you?

Emotions are unpredictable, and yet some people seem able to control their emotions and are able to stay calm in a variety of stressful situations. These same people may not have super high IQs, but they have amazing social skills. They can relate to other people easily. They are dynamic, motivated, and display an optimistic attitude, which makes them very successful in their personal and business lives. These individuals have what is called a high EQ, Emotional Intelligence Quotient.

In our stressful, modern world, a high EQ may actually be more beneficial for achievement than a high IQ. Researchers have shown that how we handle stressful events in our life, our personal relationships, and work-related issues will determine for the most part our ability to enjoy life and achieve our goals.

What determines EQ?

Our Emotional Intelligence can be attributed to how well we are able to monitor our own and other people’s emotions and respond to them appropriately. EQ is our ability to use this emotional information to guide our thinking and behavior and use it to navigate our social environment.

If your EQ could use some improvement, there are ways to increase and enhance your ability to understand your emotional patterns and those of others. You can establish new habits to increase understanding of your emotional state of being and be aware of the emotional well-being of others.

There are five main skills that can help you raise your EQ:

1. Self-Awareness – Become more aware of your emotions, strengths, and weaknesses.

Refine your values and goals and recognize their impact on others. Take the time to relax, focus, and to spend time in nature, exercise and reflect upon who you are to add to your Emotional Intelligence.

As we move through life, many of us have experienced hurtful and emotional upsets, which we may have hidden away in our unconscious. This hidden emotional inventory many times reveals itself in our attacks and judgments upon others. It is very important to ask ourselves, “Why is it that another person’s actions, attitudes, and behaviors seem to be so upsetting to us?” By attempting to take stock of our own emotional triggers, we can learn to manage them more effectively.

2.   Drop the Blame Game – Develop more empathy and compassion for others.

It is very easy to be critical of authority figures, our bosses, teachers, and family members. Blaming others for our problems can provide a way to release our emotional reservoir of pent-up anger and fear. Being critical is taking a shortcut around a problem, rather than seeking a more creative solution.

By avoiding the blame game, we must face what we have done or not done to create an obstacle in our lives. You cannot find a solution at the level of the problem. You need to lift your awareness to a higher view to see how you can change your behavior and use your positive emotions to clear your mind and release confusion.

3.   Avoiding emotional escapism – Learn to face your emotions, feel them, and let them go.

How often do we find ourselves feeling slightly depressed or emotionally flat? In many instances, we are attempting to do what you might describe as “emotional damage control.” We use alternatives and substitutions, such as feel-good behaviors to overcome feelings of inadequacy. This could include overeating; using alcohol or drugs, as well as indulging in shopping to acquire objects which we believe will boost our emotions. Many times we think that a shiny new car, an expensive bracelet or a new pair of shoes will solve our problems for the moment. These are only substitutes or temporary fixes.

4. Self-Regulation – Develop the ability to redirect and limit your disruptive emotions and impulses and adapt to changing circumstances.

You need to find the courage in the midst of an argument to say, “I understand your position, and I believe you feel you are right.” With these words, you can at least end the confrontation. Learn to let the upset go and save yourself and others from the emotional and/or physical pain that can result from saying words that you may wish were never said.

5.  Emotional Optimism – Activate mental projections of seeing yourself in an improving relationship in your personal and business life.

By imagining yourself at ease and at peace, you will be able to create a new energy template. Positive mental projections will provide a platform for you to establish desirable emotions within you. Those pleaseant fealings and emotions will create an energy field that flows in all directions and is felt and absorbed by everyone around you. People who exhibit optimism are called charismatic. Their personal magnetism often leads to becoming a highly successful and inspiring leader, mentor, and teacher.

Your success or failure can depend upon many factors. While we can increase our IQ to a certain extent, for the most part, a high IQ will not change our ability to interact with others. We can, however, dramatically increase our Emotional Quotient (EQ. By practicing new Emotional Intelligence behavior, we enhance our social skills and become far more dynamic and effective in all aspects of our life.

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